Today I was doing some reading for my Fiction Writing class, whining to myself at how much reading I have to do, and trying to remember why I decided to be an English major. Then I came across this quote by Vincent Van Gogh in a chapter about how writer's block is a crock. "If you hear a voice within you saying: you are no painter, then paint by all means, lad, and that voice will be silenced, but only by working." It reminded me of Something Oswalt Chambers said in My Utmost for His Highest. I can't quote it, but basicly he said that if you are experiening spiritual confusion, the only way to gain understanding is through obedience. Chambers said that one cannot reason through spiritual confusion, but only after stepping forward in obedience to Christ, will God grant understading. I think this is what Van Gogh, as well as the author of my fiction writing text was saying. In writing it is much the same. If I try to figure out why I have "writer's block" or look for ways to fix it, I will only sink further. I see this in every writing class I take, the similarity to Christian sprituality and writing. I took my first writing class around the same time God began to show me my need for community. Much of the interaction of my writing group was like a small group bible study. We shared our stuff with each other, being honest about what was good and bad. Pointing out things the writer could not see in their own story and offering help, not judging their work as not good enough. Writing workshops require vulnerability. I remember the first time I read a personal essay aloud to a class of twenty students. I felt naked. When I was finished no one was allowed to say anything, they just thanked me for sharing. No one tried to "fix" my essay, they just accepted my writing. Ah..acceptance. Today's reading brought me back to the place of loving writing, not because I'm good at it, but because the writing community (which can sometimes be so dark) can also be a beautiful picture of what I think Christ desires for His church.